The Glowing Scroll

Most of us think we are. But when someone is sharing from the heart, it's hard to resist a few things that can make us bad listeners: Talking over the other person Offering solutions Replying with our own experiences That last one is especially tempting. I indulged in it just yesterday. Probably will again. But nothing can make a person shut down more quickly than sharing about their upcoming cancer surgery and hearing, "Oh, I know! Last year I had surgery on my elbow. I couldn't write for two weeks ..." etc. Meanwhile, you're so involved in your own story that you didn't notice the other person quietly walking away. The classic complaint from women (usually towards their men) is, "I just want to be heard." What does that look like? I was talking (and listening) with my wife last night, and she put it this way: "We just want someone to be watching for the ball—and to catch it. Then, at some other time, they can throw—and we...

By coincidence (or maybe not), I'm reading two books right now about the church: one by a Presbyterian minister who converted to Catholicism, and one by an apostle of the current house church movement. They present two diametrically opposed views of what the church ought to look like. From the Kirk to the Catholic Church was written by Henry Graham in 1911. It describes in agonizing detail his journey from the Presbyterian kirk (church) of his youth in Scotland to his calling as a Catholic priest. That's quite a jump, and it was violent in many ways; he had to disavow the stern Protestant biases he had grown up with, and interrupt a proud family tradition of producing Presbyterian ministers generation after generation. He found himself enchanted by the beautiful aspects of Catholicism: its stately rituals, inspirational art and architecture, and the simple devotion of its adherents. But he was most attracted to the idea of the Catholic Church: One authority extending t...